Monday, November 29, 2010


Girls Reunion weekend- in a nutshell...

1.  It is true what Cosmo says.  Women are sexier in their 30's...maybe because we now have money for both beer and eyebrow waxing.  Maybe it is because we can afford to have our hair done by someone who actually went to cosmetology school and graduated.  Maybe it is because since we were in college- SPANX have been invented and high waisted jeans- thanks to Jessica Simpson will never again be in style.

2. Some things never change.  We may all have jobs- real ones that we will not blow off for the right keg party- but all in all we are still a bunch of crazy, 20 year olds at heart.  For example- as classy as we claimed to be- we were still escorted out of the bar...kicking and screaming the whole way out.

3.  Killington Vermont- I take it upon myself to apologize for the group as a whole.  We are sorry and promise to be better next time.

4.  Prosecco+Martinis+Scorpion Bowls+bottles of wine= Man Rape on the Mountain....and a hazy explanation to a detective who showed no signs of being surprised when I told him that I had no recollection of what happened in the room that I slept in.  Maybe he was not surprised because I was wearing above the knee boots, over pink sweat pants and a flannel shirt.  Maybe the Mai Thai umbrella stuck in my hair was explanation in itself.

5.  I was almost swabbed for DNA- and not in a fun I got swabbed for DNA sort of way.  In a I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth- from what I can remember which is nothing after the last scorpion bowl sort of DNA swab.

6. I can't wait to get the girls together a few years when the wanted signs have come down and we are allowed back in the 05751 area: When it is official that any and all charges have been dropped: when high waisted jeans are back in style!!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Bye Bye Blondie

Today is the end of an era.  The end of the blonde MorganU.  The end of ego boosting cat calls, free drinks and valid excuses for my moments of sheer brainlessness.
Tomorrow I embark on a new journey.  I venture into the often underrated world of the brunette.  I am saying goodbye to my inner Marilyn and introducing the world to my new attitude - a- la- JLo.  Why you ask, am I trading in sun kissed perfection for a more sultry look?  Why would I mess with a good thing (god she is vain), because friends, being a blonde is hard work.
Every 6 weeks I look in the mirror and realize that my blonde locks are now a shade or two greener than intended.  I have an inch of mousy brown part splitting my head in two.  I look washed out by 3 pm when my bronzer has all but vanished- tanning nothing now but the white shirt I am wearing.  I look less like Barbie and more like...well...anemic. 
So, tomorrow I will march into the salon.  I will slap the photo of JLo on the sink counter and demand to be brunette-a-fied.  I will ignore the wary glare I am sure to get as she looks me up and down and can't help herself from smirking at the thought of my looking like a Latina pop star.  She will then look at my ass as I walk to the chair and think- Actually, she may be able to pull this off.
So I say my bitter-sweet goodbyes to my blonde days.  I look forward to being taken more seriously (who is she kidding), but know I will miss the occasional rubber necker.  I look forward to not having to spend money that I don't have to satisfy my own vanity yet I will miss the stigma that comes with blond locks. 

Goodbye blond hair- I will miss you but we will keep in touch and I am sure this over processed head of mine has not seen the last of you!!!!