This weekend I watched a movie that took place in the 50’s. The movie left me contemplating how the role of the Lady of the House has changed over the years. In the 50’s most women did not work outside of the home. They spent their days caring for their family and their dwelling. They made careers out of gardening, ironing, and meat loafing. They were there to make their hard working husbands a high ball after work and help their children with homework. Then one day- someone had a brilliant idea that women too should be working outside the home- expanding their skills and contributing financially to their families. Genius!
But what happened to the ironing? The homework? The meatloaf? Did the need for such domestics dissolve? No- the need is still very much there. The need stares me in the face from the over flowing laundry hamper. The need wakes me up at 6 am on Sunday’s expecting Cheerios and snuggles. The need suggests I try a new recipe tonight when I am done watering the plants.
I take my role as Lady of the House very seriously. I try daily to do a little something for the better of my family but after 40 hours at the office sometimes the best thing I can muster for my family is to allow them to live another day. But I am WOMAN- I am strong, I am multi-tasker capable of taking care of the world, and the house and the never ending laundry pile…right? That is how I should feel and yet most days I just feel tired.
Am I turning my back on the generations of women who fought so that I too could go to an office everyday and bust my hump and then go home and play June Cleaver- if I throw in the towel? Am I less of a woman if I feel that I would be fully satisfied as a 1950’s housewife?
Being the Mom I want to be…the woman I want to be for my man takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of work and often I don’t have the time or the energy after a 40 hour work week. The type of mother I want to be does not feed my son hot dogs for dinner three times a week but makes him nutritionally balanced meals from the heart. The type of mother I want to be does not tell her son that she is too tired to go for a bike ride because she has been dreaming of putting her feet on the coffee table for hours. The type of partner I want to be, that I know I have in me does not have to send her Hubby to work wearing miss- matched socks but instead would like to send him to work with a packed lunch. Even typing this I know how I must sound to many women out there? Seriously? Satisfied with the old, traditional housewife life? Yes, yes I think I might be.
To those of you that are thinking that I am underestimating the work entailed and the commitment it takes to be a self proclaimed domestic goddess are wrong. I am a hard worker- I always have been and I am not looking for an excuse to eat Bon Bons and watch The Young and the Restless. That is what weekends and DVR are for. I just feel that I am not a star performer in the role of Lady of the House at the moment. I am not performing to my fullest potential and that leaves me feeling like I am failing my family-one micro-waved hot dog at a time!
What are your thoughts on my dreams of domestic conquests?
10 comments:
Each season of life has its challenges and rewards. I am daily surprised and delighted by this chapter of my life as a stay-at-home mother. There are other days I want to rip my hair out. I know I felt the same way when I was working full time. Whether you choose to work inside or outside of the home, your enjoyment in the situation has everything to do with what you make of it... and just for the record, I fed my son a microwaved hotdog for dinner last night.
I was thrilled to see that you had posted a new blog. This one I think hits home for so many women. It's tough to balance family and work. I enjoy being a stay at home mom and taking care of the household. And yeah, we still eat hotdogs every now and then :)
enjoyed your blog morgan ... brought me back to the days of yesteryear when, for 8 years, i was a stay at home mom ... i only cleaned the house when we were having company - so we had friends over for dinner at least every 2 weeks ... i did aerobic dancing with friends ... when both kids were in school i went out to lunch, very liquid lunches,with my friends ... i had a great time ... some meals were quick ones, some more thoughtful ... but, alas, reality (and my liver) required that i join the work force ... the house still got cleaned every 2 weeks (thanks to the maid), i still went out with my friends and the kids began making some home cooked meals ... I am glad i had the opportunities to be home and later to multi-task ... now i am home, still have the maid and get to spend time with kids and grands ... life is good (oh, and i can now devote time to working on me! ... 75 pounds gone and looking forward to the future) ...
I love fetching my kids from school, hearing their gossip while it's still fresh and important, meeting their friends......I can't imagine missing out on all of that cos I'm at work, working for someone else. I'd much rather be working for my family!!
I think....you should have anotha babay!!!
I was scrounging the internet for some culinary masterpiece to whip up tonight after I return home from work and I decided to see if you had blogged lately! Such a great entry and so true! Also, I think I need your recipe for microwave hot dogs...when I try that manuveur I end up with a hot dog explosion! Yeah, my husband thinks that I am a domestic goddess!
I am always thrilled to see when you post new blogs. Most of the time I find myself feeling like you have put my thoughts down. As usual I can truly relate to this post. I am lucky enough to not have to work 40 hours a week but between work and all the responsibilities at home I still find I just don't have the time or energy to put the effort in at home to accomplish everything I feel I should. I too wish I had the energy to go for those bike rides, make the well balanced nutritious meals from the heart and send my man off everyday with a packed lunch and matching socks. At the same time I love my career. I think that us strong, successful women just need more hours in the day to be the Lady of House we want to be! Keep posting I love reading these.
bravo ... one of the best youve written so far! love to read your blogs. keep the good stuff coming!
Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com
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