Thursday, April 28, 2011

Royal Wedding My Arse

Every girl dreams of being a princess right? Actually, I know you won't believe this but that was never a dream of mine.  I dreamt of being lost in the woods like the boy in the book Hatchet.  I watched a 60 Minutes episode about a woman that had no arms and had to brush her teeth with her feet- oh how I longed for that talent.  If the Little Mermaid counts I guess I dreamt of being a princess but that was more because I wanted a tail than a crown.   

As we all know- as we have all been bombarded with, as we can not escape-this weekend is the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate (I must give a royal BJ) Middleton.  One good thing about the endless coverage of this event is that we get a break from the Osmond's on Entertainment Tonight- let's face it, they own that show but on the news(like the real one) this morning the upcoming nuptials got more air time than the most devastating tornado to hit the South since the 1940's.  At this point I will give you a moment to grasp the fact that I watched the news this morning. 
You with me? 

Anyway, I guess I understand the Hoopla- to a point.  I see the way my engaged friends are completely engrossed in wedding plans.  I gag my way through facebook statuses that count down days until the big day, and I admit that if wedding photos are posted on facebook I can not, not look.  But this is a little much.  I am not excited about an unseen photo of the future princess buying a sundress.  I do not care that Prince William spent Easter with the Middleton family and didn't help with the dishes- really? Women all over the world can not get their Electrician husbands to help with the dishes and we are supposed to be shocked that the Fricken Prince didn't belly up to the sink?... 

Normally I am really into weddings.  I love the idea of a celebration of love and any excuse to get drunk and watch overweight people do the electric slide is good for me, however the over the top-ness of this wedding loses my interest.  Lets face it when I watch wedding shows where the people are not royalty- I can comment on the dress and compare it to what I may want when and if I ever get the chance.  I can say- Ohhh I love those center pieces- and then save that image in the folder in my brain reserved for my future wedding. 
With the Royal Wedding, it is not like I will be able to glance at the place settings adorned with the Queens Royal china and think- I wonder if she got that at Bed Bath and Beyond?  I won't be suggesting their DJ ( I know that they are not having a DJ and most likely will not be doing the Funky Chicken Dance, I am just proving a point) to any of my engaged friends or making a mental reminder to invite David and Victoria Beckham to my own celebration.   The wedding is just too far from my reality for me to really get into it.  Shedding for the Wedding, Bridezillas and My Big Friggin Wedding however- Bring It On!!!