Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Feel the Burn

In an effort to get a reduced rate on personal training sessions, I have agreed to be the model client for Killington Bootcamp. This means that I am working out 2x's a week with Beth Roberts and allowing her to track my progress on her website. Little did she know when striking a deal with me that I am an attention whore and would have done so gladly regardless of a discounted rate. Anyway, the first time that I worked out with Beth (I call her Rockin Body Beth behind her back), I seriously contemplated developing an eating disorder. Surely binging and hurling would be far easier than doing the amount of squats that she requires. Then I remembered that the reason that I am doing this is not only for vanity reasons but for my health. I am thirty years old and have a 3 year old and I feel that I need to make exercise a part of my lifestyle before it is too late. Plus, a thirty year old woman with an eating disorder is up there with a thirty year old man with braces in my book. Oh, that and eating disorders are terrible (my attempt at political correctness).




I am a curvy girl. I have big boobs and an ass that rivals that of the middle Kardashian sister. I gain weight quickly and fortunately I lose weight quickly. I frequently fluctuate with in a ten pound range. I am miserable and unhappy with myself when I am on the upside of that range and I am perfectly happy with myself and I won't deny t a bit cocky when I am at the lower half of that range. I feel like Jessica Simpson and at the moment I am the fat Jessica Simpson- you know the one that is marrying an unemployed guy. I want to be the Jessica Simpson of the Dukes of Hazard..you know the one that rocked it in a pink bikini that every man in America has tattooed in their memories?



My super fabulous and wonderful boyfriend and I are taking a tropical vacation in January and there is no room in my suitcase for Spanx. I want to lay on the beach in comfort and then go home and put a million pics of my rock hard bikini body on facebook so that people say-"I can't believe she as a child!" Listen, I'm okay with being vain..I embrace it.



There are a few things that usually stand in my way of being skinny Jessica Simpson. 1. I like food- especially carbs. 2. I like wine- especially when drunk by the bottle. 3. I am lazy. 4. I have no will power. This is where Beth comes in (poor girl). When I have Beth in my life I am more conscious of what goes in my mouth ( That's what she said). I work so hard that I don't want to throw it away over a Margarita and some nachos. Her presence in my living room 2 times a week gives me just enough motivation during the rest of the week to up my activities other than wine drinking. Lets face it, if left to my own devices, I, like current J.S. engaged to unemployed guy will not do squats and planks in my living room. No, I , when left alone will watch reality television with a Magnum of Sauvignon Blanc and enough Thai food for 4.



Please stay tuned, I hope that my fourteen week journey is one that you can relate to. I hope that we can keep each other motivated so please leave comments, and encouragements on my page. If you are not sure what to say I will give you a few examples of acceptable encouragement: Wow Morgan your ass is the size of a grapefruit!; You are the hottest person on the planet!; I know someone in Hollywood that needs to meet you! etc. check back in with me on Friday after my second session! Pic of me as fat Jessica Simpson.

2 comments:

Tressan said...

I think you look great just the way you are! You certainly don't look like fat Jessica Simpson... TMZ was just saying last night she looked pregnant! Anyway, I'm a little jealous of you... you've got a personal trainer coming to your own living room to kick your ass! After 14 weeks of that, you're going to be the hottest thing on that beach!!

Anonymous said...

GIRL! When I look at you right now, I wouldn't think you birthed a beautiful baby boy (even if it was 3 years ago) I am in competition for the fat Jessica Simpson, I am looking like her in that outfit spread all over the news (the fat jeans)! I would like the info for this Boot Camp, cause I need it next! Getem' girl, you are going to be great and btw your ass looks like a grapefruit (that is what you wanted me to say) lol'
<3 Kate