Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Going To My Head

I firstly would like to apologize for the cockiness that is about to follow.  I take full responsibility for the giant head that has grown accustomed to the top of my neck, and I completely recognize that it is unwarranted. 

Yesterday, as I was walking through the over populated grocery store aisles with a look of empty-headedness on my face, I was recognized.  That's right; a charming older woman approached me and asked me if I was the columnist in the paper.  My blank over caffeinated gaze turned into one of shock and pride.  I quickly scanned the aisle for paparazzi, adjusted my aviator sunglasses on the top of my swelling head and shyly said "Why yes, that is me".  She told me that she reads my column.  I said thank you and she walked away.  I almost chased her down, I wanted to know which article she has liked the best, has she invited girlfriends over to discuss my witty publishing's over coffee and bridge, would she like an autograph or a MorganU Fat Head?  I wanted to ask her if she was going to brag to everyone that she knew that she met a celebrity (I already apologized). 

After regaining my composure and standing a bit taller, I remembered that I had not blogged in 2 weeks and my fans don't deserve that kind of abandonment.  Had I become more like the Tara Reed of Blogging and settled for D list fame (she wishes)?  I can not let that happen, next thing you know I will be getting a botched boob job and throwing my drunken self on one of the Carters. 

I made up my mind, then and there that I would not settle for life as a Tara.  No, I will blog more and spend more time on my columns, perfecting them and getting them in on time ( I swear!).   I will take back the attitude that I started with in May when I began broadcasting my over the top fantasies and inner thoughts to the Facebook, Blogging world.  I will once again imagine that this MorganU memoir is going to get me fame and fortune or at the very least fans in the grocery store.