Sunday, December 27, 2009

Oh Fudge....

I have been told by many that my son is advanced in his speech.  He is a parrot.  This has always made me proud, until recently.  Last week Little Mans teacher took me aside to tell me the good news: that he went pee pee on the potty and the bad news: that when he missed the trash can with his paper towel he muttered the word shit under his breathe as naturally as you or I would given the same circumstance.  At first,I cringed and felt the need to come up with a story about how we were in a bank while it was being robbed and the heartless criminal with a horrible upbringing must have said that nasty swear in the presence of my precious tot.  Then I saw the smirk cross the face of LM's teacher and I realized the humor of the situation and secretely vowed to watch my mouth from then on. 
Life was good again.  I had a funny story to entertain friends with, of my cute 2 year old and his first swear.

That is until the very next day, and the story of the not so innocent F word.

Little Mans teacher was uncomfortable the minute I walked in the classroom.  She couldn't look at me as I asked the routine question "How was his day?"
Timid Teacher turned crimson as she spoke to the floor "Umm, well......."
My mind starts trotting through possilble scenarios that could be causing such hesitation.  LM has decided to revisit the biting stage; He flushed the class hampster; He snorted a pixie stick. 
I can't take the suspense.
Teacher reluctantly continues, "Um, he has been using the F word all day".

Oh Fudge !

I half expect the Family Court to burst through the doors and arrest me for trash talking in the presense of a minor.  I look at other parents picking up their children and imagine them whispering "Well, where do you think he heard it?"  I wonder what age they start referring kids to reform school.

Tattle Tale Teacher tells me that some other kids have said swears too.  I know she is lying.  I look at the other kids in the class, and I swear they are all in white, with miniature halos floating above their angelic little faces.  When I turn my attention to my naughty little cursor, he is reciting the words to his favorite book.  He notices me and a huge smile spreads across his beautiful face, and I think to myself- naughty or not this two year old is F'ing cute, and he is all mine!


Lynn said...

Too funny!

Doug P said...

Alexa came in the other day and it said WOW ITS FRIGGIN COLD OUTSIDE I almost peed my pants laughing so hard...

Anonymous said...

I promise that the other kids swear. Really! :)

Angie said...

It's so hard to keep a straight face at those moments...i secretly like them...good luck!

Oh that dog O mine said...