Wednesday, March 31, 2010

True To Myself

When I was 16 my grandmother told me my ass was so big she could play poker on it.  I cried, and then I got over it.  My grandmother is a tell it like it is kind of woman, and if you don't like it, don't listen.  Im a bit like my grandmother.  I started this blog almost a year ago..with no idea where it would go or who would read it if anyone.  I wasn't sure if it would be like my latest diet and fitness plan lasting three days and ending with a tear filled binge fest.  But here it is almost a year later, 87 entries, almost 3000 hits a month, its own fan page with over 350 fans...and has even helped land me a real newspaper column.  This blog is my sanity, my savior, in a sense my best friend..and I feel like I have let it down. 
Due to various reasons, none of which I regret, I have written three posts, posted them, and then deleted them.  The first one, I was afraid would offend someone, someone I really didn't want to offend.  The second one, was when I was going through a rough patch in my relationship and I blogged about it, my situation changed and I erased the blog...almost as if it never happened.  The third one was yesterday, I blogged about an experience in church- and without meaning to it hurt a very dear friends feelings.  I erased the post, her friendship means more to me than that post for sure.
What I am getting at though, is that from now on I am not going to erase any of my posts.  I am going to be careful as to not hurt anyones feelings, because that is never an intention of mine.  I am not a malicious person.  I am an honest person though and unfortunately for those people that are in my life..I am also a writer.  People may not realise what this blog mean to me.  It is not just something silly to me.  It is not just another form of social networking.  Writing is the only thing that I have found that I am good at, that I feel that I can contribute, that I feel I was put here to do.
Thanks for reading...and if you are my family, or friends...unfortunately for are fair game :-)


Camille said...

My great grandmother told me (when I was 12) that I was getting "kinda chunky" and I cried for almost an hour. She too was one of those "say it like it is" women. But now she tells me I'm getting too skinny and need to eat if I want to make babies in my future. (I'm a size 6, a size bigger than I was then!) She's fun. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Morgan, your a very kind and loving person. A good friend who is probably willing to laugh with, cry with , get plastered with for any number of easily made to be a good reason, or even egg the house of the that ass that broke your friends heart. Although your friend was upset by your blog, love means not being easily offended but remembering the true characteristics of the other person and not making them the enemy. You were there as a support and at the very same moment, along with everyone else, a womans mind can, without thought, run through all of those thoughts and still be 'in the room'. Thats how a woman survives, functions, and multitasks so the house, kids, and world doesn't burn to hell. Your readers and friends will know that even if you say something that they read as offensive, need to remember that not only are you being transparent with us and letting your heart be seen exactly how it is, which is couragous, but that your true intentions and heart are kind, loving, and honest. To give yourself limitations because of someone others will only defeat the purpose of your blog. Stay true, stay honest, and be the you we all know and love.

tammyc said...

one of the things i most admire about you is, your willingness to put yourself out there. anyone who knows you, knows you never set out to intentionally hurt anyone. be true to what you do best - writing a blog we can count on to be witty and honest and that gives us something to look forward to.