Monday, March 14, 2011

Mr. New and His Newness

I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I have not been in a coma for the last month and a half…I have been relishing in the happiness that a new relationship can bring. I apologize for abandoning you but my mind has been quite occupied. I have been busy with butterflies, perma- grins, and dinner dates. It has been about a month and a half now and I am beginning to wonder- how long can the Newness last? And when the plastic smell begins to fade will the perma-grins and butterflies cease to exist? Will the real world ruin this wonderful feeling that I am thoroughly enjoying?

Will the cute little snore that Mr. New wakes me with become a reason for me to sleep in the guest room? Will the reassuring hand holding become a thing of the past? Will the sexercise that has caused me to lose 7 pounds be replaced with headaches and fake sleeping? Will cuddling on the couch transform in to “my chair” and “his chair.” And, is there anything that we can do to ensure that the newness lingers?

I cannot control what Mr. New does, but I can try my best to keep the newness alive. I have learned from previous relationships that daily stresses can really take their toll. I don’t want the newness of Mr. New to go away but more importantly, I don’t want Mr. New to go away.

It’s funny. In the beginning of a relationship- one that has promise and feels so good, I think about the future. I would not pursue a relationship if I didn’t feel that there were possibilities of it being the real thing. And yet as I look into the future the back of my mind is telling me to slow down and enjoy the beginning. The beginning is amazing. It is unlike anything else- including the middle and the end. The success of the beginning is also detrimental to the outcome of the middle and the determination of whether there will be an end. And again, I digress.

I will do my best to fight my internal over thoughts. I will do my best to think about the here and now. Because in all honesty, the here and now…right here…right now…is blissful.


d902shadow said...

I think if you are lucky enough to find that wonderful feeling again .and be so very happy take it and run with it because you do deserve to have that as well. he new seems like he may be mr righ.
so just keep going and find out.and while you are finding out take your time and enjoy it all and
have fun..dana