Monday, September 14, 2009

Reasons Why We Missed the Ceremony

Honey and I went to a wedding on Friday and here are the reasons why we missed the ceremony.

1. Until Thursday (day before the wedding) I thought that the wedding was in Rhode Island.
2. It was in Massachusetts.
3. Until Thursday evening (night before wedding) I had no idea what time the wedding was.
4. My Honey (even though it was his friend) had no idea either.
5. Not a clue in the world what happened to that darn invitation.
6. Woke up Friday (day of wedding) and found out that it would take us 4 hours (not 3) to get there.
7. Honey still sleeping.
8. Neither one of us packed.
9. My sexy red satin pumps apparently decided to separate and one of them moved out of my house (the only explination that I can come up with for why I have only one).
10. My sexy red pump was having an affair with one of Honey's dress shoes and together they left the country.
11. TJ Maxx makes it impossible for you to get in an out in 15 minutes...they had so many new things.
12. Honey is addicted to convenient store goodies and there for even though we were running late he stopped three times.
13. Stupid tractor trailer truck driver did not consider our tardiness before driving off the road and causing an hour delay...the nerve!
13.5 We have to get ready in the car, in traffic.
14. The man in the car next to us was from Mass, and therefor would not help us tie Honey's tie...what a Masshole!
15. We get to the wedding and are the only ones there...Lord Have Mercy WE are early!
16. We stop for a celebratory cocktail...we deserve it!
17. We casually get ready at the hotel.
18. We meet up with friends and together decide to take a taxi.
19. Taxi driver is a big fat liar (says he will be there in 12 minutes, 20 minutes later we..
20. ...decide to drive
21. There are a lot of one way roads in Massachusetts.
22. The ceremony started on time.
23. I got a good buzz and flashed the hidden camera at the bar (okay, not a reason but worth noting!)

And that my friends is why we missed the ceremony, even though we were three hours early.


joanna said...

I had an anxiety attack just reading this.

B stops for junk food on trips too - drives me crazy! Do you REALLY need 3 cokes, a slim-jim, a bag of chips and a candy bar for a 2-hour drive??

Morgan U said...

try a red bull, swedish fish, a bag of smart food, a gatorade, apple juice and skittles...I am not kidding!

Anonymous said...

it was my wedding.... it was fantastic to see you showed up just as I was... and i LOVED that you flashed the hidden camera, cause i flashed the real one. LOL now we're even. I love you girl!!!!

"the new... Mrs. Murphy" :)

Anonymous said...

Isn't that red shoe the one you "misplaced" at one of the last wedding receptions you attended??!!

Morgan U said...

no..that was a black shoe LOL