Friday, January 15, 2010

Just give me 24 hrs

I have a long awaited chick night tonight- complete with fruity and delicious flavored martinis, food that is not one of the following five meals that I am allowed to make/serve Pretty Much Hubby 1)spaghetti 2)beef stew 3)shepards pie 4)Shrimp Scampi or 5)Steak and rice.  I am going to wear heels that hurt and a shirt that will show off my assetts (big old boobies) and drape loosly over the Spanx line that divides me in two.  I will self tan and sprits with perfume- all for the enjoyment of my own and my dearest friend K.  I will gossip, giggle and pick on the couple next to us.  At some point during the evening K will beg me to stop making her laugh and this will give me more reason to break out my best material.

The best part of the night will be that for a few hours I will not be needed.  No one will need me to wipe their nose, run their errand or rub their back.  There will not be dishes in the sink whispering to me "clean me or I will make your house smell like McDonalds".  No cat pouncing at my ankles as I walk by, begging for a belly scratch and a treat.  I will not be wrestling a slimy, naked baby into feetie pajamas, or arguing with anyone about what to watch on TV.  The wine will not run out after the store is closed.  The waitress will not tell me it is my turn to get my second glass of wine- nor will she ask me to get her one.

I will not worry that Little Man is missing me too much- as he will be allowed to eat ice cream for dinner, won't be forced to bathe and will be allowed to stay up late with daddy.  Pretty Much hubby most likely will miss me- but as he leaves his dish in the sink he will be glad that I am not hovering behind him ready to fly off my furry slipper.  He will also not miss me when he is watching Discovery Channell with out the annoying whining in the backround "I already took history class, can't we watch Jersey Shore"...he might miss me however when LM will not let him sit for one second, or talk on the phone, or do anything but read the monkey book 17 times in a row.

Hopefully, I will get whistled at or something as I stumble my way to K's car and I will feel like "this momma still got it".  Hopefully I will not flash my boobs- something that I did quite frequently in my pre momma days.  I will end up calling PMH from the restaurant as I shush K- I will explain that I have had too much to drink and that I am staying at K's.  We will go back to her house- pour the wine that we certainly don't need and will regret in the morning and we will stay up late laughing at our drunken clumsy selves.  In the morning I will bounce back into responsibility mode-after I down 3 glasses of OJ, take 4 Ibuproffen and wipe the mascara off of my chin.


Courtney said...

Have fun! You deserve it!

Yin...or were you Yin? said...

this sounds like a perfect night! Hope you're having so much fun!

Lynn said...

Hope you had fun! ove the photos of Tup!!!

Oh that dog O mine said...

This sounds like many a night I remember with you lady's. Hope they never stop. I'll be on the couch!