Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Better Material

So, I know that you are expecting this entry to be about my diet- but I have better material today than my malnourishment and sore muscles (really, it's going well).
I am sitting in my 95 Degree kitchen right now- waiting for potatoes to boil (not for me you diet nazi!)- and I just need to vent.
It's unfair really, that after a night of barely sleeping due to cranky child that both cranky child and now cranky parents are forced to coexist. It's also not fair that my crasnky son is anything but cranky at daycare, but the minute, literally the minute that I am left alone with him he turns into Chucky.
Chucky doesn't want to hold my hand across the busy street. Chucky thrusts his hips in the air (similar to a yoga pose that I tackled this morning) as I am trying to get him into his car seat all while screaming at the tippity top of his lungs. To the unsuspecting population walking and driving by I must look like I am abducting this innocent little boy...As if I would at this point! infact, if it weren't for the tell tale signs of motherhood that I so eagerly possess- like the bags under my eyes, the unkept hair and the few extra pounds around my middle I am sure that someone would call the police.
we have one stop on the way home- the grocery store. Most often my adorable little child who is everyday a bit closer to the terrific twos enjoys the sights and sounds of the market. He usually lasts about 10 minutes without bribery and another 10 with unpaid for crackers being shoved i his face. Mothers, you know that shopping for 3 weeks of food in 20 minutes is doable and has become the Price Chopper Ritual with Me and Little man.
But not today....Today I dont even get Chucky in to the cart.I am livid that I don't get to purchase my shitty diet food, mortified that strangers are witnessing my son so rudely acting his age in public and am embarrased that these Perfect Little Childless Grocery Getters are feeling sorry for me...and they don't even know that I am dieting!
After a repeat of the car seat submission I try again at the much more expensive Mom and Pop shop on the way home. A little more successful- in that a brat is not the only thing that I leave the store with...i manage to get dinner and a cookie to lure my child who refuses to sit in the cart out of the store....Always reward bad behavior.
Now, as I my anger and exhaustion by putting pen to paper, I have parked my son infront of the TV- chocalate chip cookie remnants covering his face like zit cream. and sorry, diet this mommy is having a cocktail!


Bethany said...

you are hilarious--i love reading your blogs!!!

lynn said...

too funny!

Anonymous said...

HAHA- i fucking love you man!

Love Sarah

Morgan U said...

Thanks guys!!!!!!!!!

tammyc said...

love it. only gets better. wait until he develops (fully) spoken language! then the real fun begins.