Monday, July 13, 2009

Nap Time Ahhhh

I haven't decided wether or not I believe in god- but everytime my Little Man takes a two hour nap, midday- right before I am about to abandon my family and move to a third world country where they are sure not to find me, I get a little closer to Catholicism. LM is creeping dangerously close to the terrible two's. His favorite word is "No", he bahaves well for everyone but me, and he fights sleep like his father and I fight waking up.
After what seems like hours of entertaining LM in the morning, feeding him, convincing him that putting toys in the toilet is less fun than quietly reading a book, I am about to pull out what little hair he has allowed to stay in my scalp. Then, miraculously I notice the tell tale signs of a tired toddler. He falls 6 times in 2 seconds, rubs his eyes with his grubby little hands and starts mummbling to himself in what sounds like Cantonese. I see a light at the end of the tunnell. But it is not a short tunnell. First, I must convince LM to stop whatever it is that he is exhaustedly attempting to do. Next, I must wrestle him like I am Steve Irwin and he is a rabid alligator and pin him down long enough to change his diaper. Lastly, I leave him screaming while I loudly promise him that i will soon be returning with Sippy of milk in hand. The more tired LM is, the longer I have to stand above his crib, patting his back and singing the ABC's all the while my arm is going numb from the crib rail that is jammed in my arm pit.
After one failed attempt to leave the room and about 20 minutes, I hear the best sound in the world....Silence.
I have at most 2 hours. That should be enough time to sweep (can't vaccuum due to napping tired toddler), unload the dishwasher, take a shower, put 300 books back on the book shelf, blow dry my hair, fold laundry, mop, clean out the fridge, empty out my vehicle and pluck my eyebrows.
But, today is Sunday, and I am tired. Today, I thank the god that I am unsure of, recline in the chair with a Glamour magazine that has been in the plastic wrapper for two weeks, waiting patiently for the appropriate time to rescue me from Domestic Torture. Today, I will do nothing at nap time. I will allow myself the luxury of a daydream, a half hour reality tv show, and a 1 O Clock cocktail. Tomorrow, my laundry will still be there, along with the stale food in the fridge and the unibrow...but what won't be there tomorrow is 2 hours to myself.