Monday, July 19, 2010

Man, Woman....Wild?

On an average night at our house, I can be found in my kitchen- cooking and watching crime shows or reality nonsense while Honey is in the living room watching the Discovery or History Channel. This past weekend in an effort to spend time together we found a reality show on the Discover channel- perfect compromise. The show was called Man, Woman, Wild. The premise of the show is a married couple- she a journalist, he a "survivor man". Together, they find themselves in the wild. They make shelters, hunt for food and make fires out of sticks. As always my mind starts to wander, and I picture Honey and I in the khaki outfits of our television stars.

Our show would be called Man, Woman, Why. I picture myself excited beyond reason for our survivor style bonding time. I like that Honey does not have a cell phone attached to his ear and that there is no one in the Wild that is going to distract him from spending quality time with me. Often in our real life, business calls halt our "together" time. I am not thrilled with my ensemble ,as khaki is really not a good color on me but beyond that my hopes are high.

The first step in surviving in the wild is to find shelter. In our real life- we have been remodeling our house for over three years, a project that has been a subject of many a bicker between Honey and I. Now, in my head, we are to build a shelter from scratch in the middle of the rain forest- that's right my "survivor" story is in the rain forest. I decide to take Honey's lead- he is the builder in the family after all. If we were to be in a survival situation, I would have to put the nagging aside. Our temporary shelter would not need interior trim or a deck after all- it would be right up Honey's alley.

After securing our new abode, we would need to find food. This is where the fun would begin. Honey would decide that after building a shelter that he needs to relax. I would have not eaten for three hours which is unfathomable to me and I would demand that he get off of his shelter building behind and help me find food. By helping me find food- I of course mean to go find food while I stay at the shelter and make it a little more homey..a nice twig wreath perhaps...some bamboo railings.

In an effort to keep Mama Bear happy- Honey would stomp into the rain forest muttering under his breath about me. Later he would return with whatever rain forest food that he was in the mood for. In our real lives he will volunteer to do the grocery shopping only to come home with strawberries, ice cream, cotton candy and cottage cheese...having spent $60 and an hour. He will argue with you that I do the same...he is never in the mood for the vegetables that I feel the need to purchase.

With bellies full of rain forest berries and edible bugs we would move on to fire building. I am ashamed to say that this too would be a task that would be handed to Honey. I am not doing so well in the survivor-ship contrary to my going along with the wearing of khaki. Honey grew up in a farm family- which is his reasoning behind his survivor skills. I grew up with an attorney for a father and a real estate agent mother. This has left me with great arguing skills, and expensive taste- neither of which is a skill that will help me in the rain forest.

Man, Woman, Wild is over and so is my day dream. I look around and see that I am safe in the confines of my living room- not wearing a speck of khaki- thank god. We are in our un-finished shelter, with heaping bowls of pasta. There is no fire- but the humming of our AC. I realise that we too are surviving. Maybe not the rain forest but the real world. Together we have built shelter, found food and warmth..together. And we are surviving just fine.