Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hanging Up on Elbow

Little man and I have a 32 minute commute to daycare/work. Without a doubt even after hearing Chicken Fried for 25.5 minutesstraight, by minute 26 Little Man has had enough of the rat race. He is hungry, most likely uncomfortable, and surely even he is sick of that stupid song (once my favorite). At this point in the journey I have heard the same song six times in a row, most likely spilled coffee on myself or my seat, am running late and now must come up with a distraction for LM because 6 minutes of an unhappy toddler is actually the leading cause of fatal car accidents (probably).
One particular morningwhile sipping my coffee, dodging a pot hole and restarting Chicken Fried, I use my Go Go Gadget arm to search around the backseat like a blind man. BINGO- the Elmo (LM calls him Elbow)phone. Actually the Elbow phone is really an Elmo remote but my son sticks everything smaller than a shoe box up to his ear and says Hello, so we call it a phone.
LM is screaming and tearing at his car seat straps as if they were holding him under water. I put the toy remote to my ear and say, Oh hi Elmo. What is that? You want to talk to Little Man? The monster in the car seat has quieted but has yet to remove his scowl. Little Man its Elmo, do you want to talk to Elmo?
Talk to Elmo I plea.
LM squints his eyes and looks at me in the rearview in disgust. But I push on.
C'mon, Talk to Elmo
I thrust the Emo/Elbow, remote/phone at my cranky little guy. He snatches- literally snatches the toy from my hand, puts it up to his ear and in his infamous Lauren Bacallish voice growls-
Bye. The toy is then launched half way across the car. I am shocked. My son has just treated his dear friend Elbow like a foreign telemarketer. I pull up out front of the child care center and begin to unstrap the little guy from his car seat. He looks at me and smiles, that gorgeous innocent smile that melts me instantly. As I am pulling him out he hugs me. He is happy. Hanging up on Elbow mysteriously morphed him into the beautiful, good little boy that I am proud to call mine.