Monday, October 26, 2009

Pet Peeves

If you haven’t already figured this out, not only m I slightly irrational, but I also am easily annoyed. But, how can I expect the world to follow my rules, if I never tell the world what those rules are. Here are the ridiculous things that people say or do that make me want to push them down stairs (I don’t think she is stable) .
1. Unless you are six years old –in which case it is kind of cute, Birfday is not a word. Really, does it even sound right to you?
2. Webster’s dictionary describes the word berry as : a pulpy and usually edible fruit (as a strawberry, raspberry, or checkerberry) (what the F is a checkerberry) of small size irrespective of its structure b : a simple fruit (as a grape, blueberry, tomato, or cucumber) with a pulpy or fleshy pericarp c : the dry seed of some plants (as wheat).
There is no such thing as a Liberry. There is however, a library- which is no where near a pulpy and edible fruit.
3. The following grammar errors can be grouped as one, and they may only be conducive to Vermont : idear and heighth. As in “I have no idear what the heighth of that maple tree is." You are getting frustrated (some say fusterated AGHHH!!!) with me now aren’t you?
4. When I lay down at night I put my head on a pillow, for those of you that rest your heads on pellows I want to suffocate you with said pillow/pellow.
5. Loud talkers/ close talkers, over talkers and all the Look Who’s Talking movies. These need no explanations.
6. Double negatives- especially when out of the mouths of educated people. "She don’t have a clue." No! You don’t have a clue how Jerry Springer you sound when you talk like a degenerate!
Okay, I actually have more, but I am literally pissed off right now. I worked my self up so badly that I have begun to sweat the sugar free Rockstar that is supposed to be getting me through Monday morning mayhem. I need to go out side and take a breath (not a breaf) and try and calm myself down.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can totally relate to this..I have way too many language pet peeves to even list, but you managed to hit quite a few of them - I will supplement your list with a couple more:

1. When I go to a restaurant and the waitress says: "If you need anything, my name is ____." I am always tempted to respond with "and if I don't need anything, do you have a different name?"
2. The word is supposedly...not supposubly
3. BTW, idear is a New England pronunciation...had a French teacher who used to pronounce the french word "le" as "ler"-drove me nuts!
4. It is drawer not draw!
5. The word potato does not have any "d"s!

I could go on and on...I need a life!

Judy

Morgan U said...

Hilarious!!!!! i know what you ,mean about supposubly, ARGHHHH!

heather said...

Guilty! Oh, BTW- I have always spelled it as 'Berfday' :)
Can't help it. Sorry!

Hey! Tupper has a berfday coming up, right?

Anonymous said...

Have you worked in a school? They have liberrys, chimleys, and idears. These teachers don't teach um nothin', but supposubly they say they are. There are so many more that aren't coming into the head at the moment.

Bear

Courtney Molyneaux said...

HI!
I agree with all of these but then I'm feeling bad because I feel like this is a direct shot at Harvey for the first 10 years of his life! hahaha
How about when people say bum instead of but ("I want some ice cream bum I'm not even hungry") oh wait that was you!! haha I miss you